it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
