i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
