Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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