i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
