So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need a beard to bite.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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