Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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