Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize