Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
