I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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