i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
