Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this will be a night to untag.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
