i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
