my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize