Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
