i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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