oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
