when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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