Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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