you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize