WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
