on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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