the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
birth control should be required to get into college
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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