i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
