Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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