RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
