The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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