I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
