I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
