Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I touched a dick in church today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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