She said her name was "party"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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