is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize