Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This baby is an asshole
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize