Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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