god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
