He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
