hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
do herpes really smell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
