That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
