Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
