he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
