i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
