Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
