Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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