She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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