I heard we made out
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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