So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
