just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
