dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize