nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
