What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
