Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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