My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
