Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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