i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
