..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am naked and annoyed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
