It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I understand Curling. That high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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