you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
