So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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