Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
