my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
