I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
