Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
