I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
