yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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