Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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